The 60 Feelings of War
by SweetHeartxx
Summary: Sixty One-Shots/Drabbles about the lovely Marauders and crew and the way they feel because of the first war. Please R&R.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: **I own none of the characters in this story, they are all J.K.'s brillaint creations.

Just Like Before: Nostalgic

Her eyes looked out at the black sky; could it really be so dark and peaceful at once? Was it really possible for them to be here with so much danger just across the bay? Her dark brown eyes were concentrated on the small steamboat plowing through the calm water. What she would give for a moment like this, if only the situation were different. If there weren't this war, if she could be home with her family, settle down and have a family of her own, without having worry about watching them die.

As always, he was silent, letting her have her space as he ran his fingers through her mop of long chocolate colored hair. It was this was a lot now; him just sitting there holding her as she let her mind wander, lost herself to these thoughts. It was the only time that she felt at home any more, that she didn't feel that familiar emptiness, instead there was only the hope and longing for a victory.

She wondered if the others ever sat like this, just watching the sky, the water, the life around them, just to see that what they were doing made a difference. She wondered if they felt lost and a sense of desperation at times. But she wondered most of all, how they managed not to go void, not to feel like she did, where she could simply sit, staring blankly for hours, letting him hold her close. Of course she couldn't be the only one who felt herself looking back on the days when they were at school, all of them together, all of them happy, and safe; most importantly, they were all safe.

"What are you thinking about tonight, Alice?" Frank's voice cut through the silence, softly and calmly, reserved for her alone. He stopped playing with his hair but shifted himself to face her, looking into her eyes with his warm blue ones, a brilliant warmth she could distinguish even in the cover of night.

"I was just remembering how our school days were, before we had to worry about this war." She sighed, her voice thin and uncharacteristically small. Alice wished that this war could pass, and she hoped to Godric that the lot of them would somehow manage to survive because with the way things were shaping up, the whole of them would be nothing but a piece of history within the end of the year. "Frank, I wish we could go back. It was safe then, and we were all together."

Frank ran his fingers through her hair, moving it back from her face before he leaned in and his lips touched her forehead gently before he took to sitting across from her once more. "Alice, I miss those days too. But we're not meant to be there anymore, you know that. We have a bigger purpose in life now."

"I know we do, I just wish… Sometimes it's so hard. I can't even look at a paper anymore without seeing names of friends that have been killed, kids that were safe at Hogwarts only months ago." A small tear escaped from the corner of her eye but Frank stopped it before it could trail down her cheek.

"It's hard. Sometimes I think that if it weren't for you, Alice, that I would never survive from one day to the next." Frank was too kind; he gave her too much credit. She was a foolish girl, with a hopeless heart, a dreamer if ever there were one. He was her solid ground to stand on, that one firm foundation that kept her in this place, kept her from falling and breaking. "I'm being serious, Alice. Without you, I would be more careless, I'd have no reason to live."

This was so much like the day that Frank had taken her down by the Black Lake before he left Hogwarts, when they were about to face a year apart. He'd snuck her out, taken her for a walk under the stars, just the two of them, and there he'd told her for the first time that he loved her. Nearly two years ago, to the very day, Alice had gotten a speech much like this, but having it retold, having the sentiment renewed, meant so much to her.

"You're too much, Frank. I don't know what I ever did to deserve you." Alice nestled her head into Frank's shoulder and looked up at him from behind her thin lashes. "What would I ever do without you?"

**A/N: **I love Alice and Frank, but sadly, they won't be resurfacing for a short while. Please R&R.


	2. Chapter 2

Dancing on a Fine Line: Pissed Off

They were at it again, well he was at it again; all that she wanted to do was know whether he was in or out. She was in the Order, he was a Death Eater, damn it, they should not be together. No, they shouldn't be together, in the room together or otherwise for that matter, but yet there was that undeniable bond between them, the sense that there was something more. But she never let there be anything more; her heart was unwilling to be broken.

He was gone now, they had had another fight. But she could still feel his presence, and that made her so angry, her temper was hard to quell. And now, she had gone off on a short fuse, she'd yelled at him, sent him off, all because of the fact that he wanted more, and she was scared, mad, didn't want to be hurt.

But how could they ever be them if they were constantly at odds, always fighting, on the wrong side of the war. Augustus was wrong for her, and Emmeline was wrong for him. She was with the Order, and she was supposed to be hunting him down and killing him. And he was supposed to be doing the same with her.

But here they were, together. If Emmeline weren't so afraid to be vulnerable she may even admit to herself that she loved him. Or maybe she was just afraid of him?

Why in bloody hell couldn't Augustus just give up being a death eater? Emmeline knew the answer, but they had the same conversation again, his temper and her temper matching each other.

"_Augustus, this is ridiculous. We can't do this anymore!" _

"_Why not, Emme? So we don't belong together, so we are breaking every rule in the book to be together, but I love you. Why is that so hard to understand?"_

"_We're supposed to want each other dead." _

_She was fuming; they were always fighting about this, and you think that they'd have come to some sort of understanding by now. They had been sneaking around for months now, ever since she got out of Hogwarts and joined the order. _

_They'd snuck around for the last few years, starting during their school days. But there would have been no uproar because both were purebloods, it was only for the fact that they were on opposite sides of the war. God they were on opposite sides of the war. _

"_You know, you're right, Emme. We are supposed to want each other dead. But you want to know a secret; I don't want to kill you. Why do you have to be so goddamn stubborn all the time?"_

"_Well then leave them. Leave them all, if you love me, join the order."_

_They both knew that couldn't happen; but they both knew that they would never really be able to be together. If they tried to have a real date they'd both be killed, possibly even by their own allies. And anything more than dating… well, that was more than out of the question._

"_You know why, Emmeline. It isn't that simple. Don't you get it? If I could leave them, I'd do it in a heartbeat. But for abandonment, I'd be as good as killing both of us."_

_She wanted to cry, but she wouldn't. Emmeline wasn't one to cry, so instead she got more upset. He was the one person she never wanted to hurt, never wanted to be hurt by, but it looked like he was the only person she ever ended up hurting, and then she just got angrier. _

"_Of course I get it. But I'm done; I'm done! I can't do it anymore. It hurts too much."_

"_When have you been afraid of pain? You're in the Order, and you're telling me you're afraid of being hurt?"_

"_August, you know what? I can handle the pain, the physical pain. I'm not too keen on being hurt deeper. And we're too different, we're wrong for each other. We are so very wrong."_

"_Maybe you're right. We are too different…"_

_He was calmer, more collected than she was. He always had been able to keep his cool for just a little longer than she had. But even his cool façade was beginning to wear down. They both knew if he didn't leave soon, they would only end up hurting worse, that they would both want to kill each other, all while knowing that there was nothing they could do to quell the feelings they had for one another._

So here she was, beating herself up, miserable and alone. And more than that, she couldn't calm her anger. But this time, her miserable demeanor was directed at herself_. _How could she just let him go like that? There had to be some compromise to be made where they wouldn't be trying to kill each other at every turn, where they could enjoy a quiet evening together.

But not as long as he was Augustus bloody Rookwood and she was Emmeline freaking Vance.

**A/N: **I love these two lesser known canons, and they'll show up a few times, but not often. I hope you're enjoying so far.


	3. Chapter 3

Just So Handsome: Stalked

Seriously now, why did he feel like he was being followed? Sure, this sort of paranoid, stalker story was normal for darker, downright dreary days, but right now the sun was shining, the streets were filled with people, loads and loads of people. Perhaps that was what had him feeling as if someone were following him, as if he were being watched. He hoped so, after all, lately, it hadn't only been girls on his case as he was so used to, now there were death eaters ready to devour him too. And if it was up to him, he would try to avoid the latter until it was in a situation favorable for him.

Sirius hated the way he felt eyes on him all the time lately. Back in his school days it had been a novelty, something to go around boasting to James, telling him how many more girls he'd gotten. Though this hadn't been an even scale seeing as James would go for periods of time chasing Lily rather than getting girls. But it had been an entertainment to him and James hadn't seemed to mind.

But as he got a little older, and god-forbid matured a bit, the idea began to creep him out, and to think that he'd indulged such whims. Heck, it was nice when he got a girl here or there, but now that the death eaters were after them, he was afraid he'd turn around and come face to face with someone like Bellatrix; lovely lady really, his cousin always had been, but quite off her rocker if you asked him. Who could be so in love with the Dark Arts, or better yet, the Dark Lord himself that you forgot the fear of death or anything else that might kill you?

He always knew there was a reason he stayed away from his family growing up. Andromeda, now she was a keeper. Her and that Theodore Tonks were great; let him spend the summer with him until he got his house after dear, dear mother's death. At which point, though he felt like nothing at home, he had a safe place, as now this was where they, the Order, met on a normal basis. That definitely seemed to help with the atmosphere; having your friends around you definitely brightened a place.

As he turned a corner, he was reminded of that similar sensation, the one with eyes on the back of his head. He spun only to meet nobody, nothing but air and the way from which he came, people bustling around, trying to hurry here or there, getting who knows what. He was here on a mission… get a drink and relax. Not too difficult, not unless he was killed before he got there.

Sirius shuddered; why did he have to think about things like that while he was walking alone and he felt eyes on him. STALKERS! A pebble skidded past his right foot and he spun around.

"Who's there?" He must have looked ridiculous because a few wizards and witches, many older, turned and looked at him. This war was turning him into a joke. Sirius Black was not a joke. He lifted his head, black hair falling a little above his shoulders. He'd show them.

As he turned to finish his walk to the Three Broom Sticks, he swallowed, keeping his head up. He could still feel eyes on him, but no matter, he wasn't scared. Ha, he laughed at danger, he wasn't like the others, Lily and James, Frank and Alice, they all had someone to look after; not him, at least not right now. So danger didn't bother him, he just liked to know when it was coming.

Then the sound of laughter came from somewhere unseen; he was sure it was aimed at him. Who was there? He was not going crazy.

He stopped as he saw something move. James appeared from around the corner, a wicked smirk across his face as he headed for Sirius.

"What is this? Don't tell me Padfoot's begun to go soft."

**A/N: **I love Sirius, but I know this was not the normal way of portraying him, nor did I really like how I did it. But it was fun to write. R&R, I hope you enjoyed it.


	4. Chapter 4

Bringing Down A Woman: Savage

It was that killer instinct, quite literally so. She loved the way the blood smelled after a fight, the feeling of a quick release, but more importantly, she loved the sight of crumpled, disfigured, bodies. Quite the unnatural thought, especially of a lovely young lady like herself. But she had passed lovely and young some years ago, probably when she first began to give into these thoughts, these feelings.

Before her, three muggles were lying in odd positions; two face down, one face up. Moving towards the body, she knelt and looked into the face of her unsuspecting victim. He had bright green eyes, she noticed, his face frozen into a shocked frame. But he seemed to have a warning in his eyes, a warning for her? What a joke!

No blood tonight; muggles couldn't fight back, they were too stupid. But there was something about this one that made her smile wickedly, just short of a cackle. This man looked familiar, the only thing that was wrong was the fact that he had dark brown hair; this man was the father of one of those Order brats, she was sure. If the man had red hair, he would have been the perfect match of his daughter, Lily Evans.

This was too much. With a flick of her wand, she tossed the other two bodies to the side. Neither of them, both women, seemed to resemble the child. But the father… what a shame, if only the girl had been there to see it happen; then this moment would have been perfect.

Foolish little hero creatures. He was an idiot, just like every other man; but that's how it had happened so wonderful. He shared that sense of pride and stubbornness with his precious little girl. They all thought they could be heroes, but they were only fooling themselves. What was a muggle like him going to do to her?

"Oh, silly man. But don't worry, poor old man, you're daughter will be joining you soon…" Yes, soon enough the Dark Lord would have them all.

As for his wife, oh, she would have her day too. Poor thing would be heartbroken, wouldn't she? Such a shame, wasn't it? Well she would have to see to it that she was put out of such misery. He had come rushing out at the screams, which house…

Her dark brown eyes scanned the two rows of houses. Why not just get them all, wipe them all out; that would definitely please the Dark Lord. A great number of victims, two very valuable among them…

The witch turned and faced the left side of the street, such quaint little houses. So late at night, they would all be in bed. This would be like child's play. Her wand raised, she made her way towards the first house, but stopped when she heard something move a few paces down, the bush in front of the next house. Something, someone was there.

With a whisper, her wand lit at its tip, illuminating the path in front of her as she turned, a wicked smile on her face. There was her first victim, but perhaps if it was the woman she was in search of, the others would be spared. For now.

"Come out. I know you're in there." She made her voice intolerably sweet and friendly, though it would do little, considering she had the suspicion that the person in question had seen her kill the others, with nothing but a flash of green light. Poor, pathetic creatures. "Don't worry, I promise I won't hurt you." Lies, more lies. Anything to catch her prey.

There was a small sound of rustling leaves, the person must have been disentangling themselves from the bushes snares, if not, they'd surely wish that they would have. But before long, a tall, slender woman emerged, her eyes steeled to her. Oh, the defiance, the blazing fire, how valiant, though it would get her nothing but a slower death, definitely not one like the others. Perhaps torture and then death, but perhaps if she cooperated…

"What have you done to my husband?" Her voice was kept low, not to disturb her sleeping neighbors. Silly woman, it didn't matter how much she screamed, nothing could prepare her for what she was about to get. So this was Lily's mother. They looked quite different, but the look in her eyes, there was no question. He daughter had given her the same look only days before, lucky to have escaped with her life. But her mother, this woman, would have no such luck.

"Oh, he's not in any pain, Mrs. Evans." She cackled as the understanding dawned on her that this was no mistake at all. But her countenance returned as she steadied herself, though it seemed quick clear she refused to accept that fact that her husband was gone.

"You vile witch."

"You'd be careful to watch who you're speaking to. I do doubt your daughter would hate to hear you speak so. She might mistake them to be aimed at herself."

Poor, foolish woman, thinking that she could stand up to her. This woman was just as foolish as her daughter, as foolish as her husband, as foolish as all of them. Her lord was powerful, and there was no way anybody could defeat him, and she, one of his closest and most devoted death eaters was likely to be around for quite a long bit of time as well.

"Don't speak of my daughter like that. She's twice the woman you are."

Oh this woman's tongue would be her undoing. Perhaps she was even worse than that daughter of hers.

"Ah, but only half as wise." With a wicked smile the light at the tip of her wand began to dim…

"Avada Kedavra" The green light shot from her wand, hitting its mark, squarely in the chest. That would teach them. That would teach them all… She let out a loud string of strained laughter watching as her victim crumpled to the ground before her.

The world would soon know the name Bellatrix Lestrange…

**A/N: **This was probably my most difficult to write so far, simply because I would never hurt a fly. But, my latest chapter, not my best. R&R


	5. Chapter 5

Written in the Stars: Enlightened

She had always loved the stars; their story was just as magnificent as the glow they gave off. It was a wonder that more people didn't see it. The way that they danced in the sky, their warm glow… it was like a beautiful midnight ballet.

Many people didn't understand why she would waste her time watching the stars, a boring thing. Ha, boring indeed. They were nothing of the sort. And they were calming, a much needed change of pace from the craziness of the world around her.

And now, there was all too much more craziness in the small world she had always known. Dumbledore had come to her, asking her to teach Astronomy, saying that the students would benefit from having a young woman around the castle, one who could pass on her magnificent insight. But she had been hesitant to accept his offer, sure that it was only a ploy to acquire her as a new member of the Order, despite how strongly against taking a side he knew her to be.

But what choice did she really have but to take the job? The old Astronomy professor had all but disappeared, and the students certainly could benefit from her teachings, the path of stars, patterns, much could be said about any single star.

As she sat on the rooftop of the Astronomy tower, her eyes cast towards the sky, a small blur of light shot through the sky. Ah a shooting star, a miracle of nature. A miracle that gave people hope all around the world, and a bit of hope wouldn't hurt anyone right about now.

But as her eyes continued to scan the sky, a red dot gradually came into view, even without the aid of the telescopes only feet below her in the tower. Mars was bright tonight, and it was moving into position, lining with Venus, a bad omen. Not that this bad omen could prove false, after all, they were in a war, and there were casualties every day.

Aurora turned her eyes to look out across the Hogwarts grounds and past the Forbidden Forest. It all looked so dark and foreboding. She let out a soft sigh of knowing. Something inside her told her that there was something different about what this omen was warning. There was something bigger going on out there, and it would have a dire impact, she was sure. Something inside her just knew.

And this was where any member of the Order, any follower of Dumbledore would have rushed off with this news, eager to share it with him. But Aurora had a feeling that whatever it was he already knew full well. Dumbledore knew a great many things, and she was sure he'd know what she had come to realize in the past few hours, the past few days; that the world was about to be turned upside down and inside out.

**A/N:** Definitely not my favorite. Short drabble, Aurora Sinistra (Astronomy Professor at Hogwarts). This will be important later on though, so I hope you don't find it a waste of space, much as I feel at the moment. Please R&R, updating soon.


	6. Chapter 6

When They Needed Her Most: Guilty

"Mrs. Potter…" Lily never liked it when Dumbledore addressed her formally. It always meant that something was going on, probably something that was meant to harm her, and he wished that it wouldn't. But then he'd act as though it wasn't his problem, no, because he wasn't the one who had to suffer. No, that would be her.

She should have run from him; she shouldn't have listened to him, turn a cold shoulder to him, walk away. But she was sure it couldn't be any worse than losing her friends. In fact, it was probably just another fallen comrade, okay, so it was always more than just a fallen comrade to her, but that's how she treated them in front of others. They all had their ways about them, and this was hers. But the news he'd given her… it was something that she wasn't ready for, not at all.

"Bellatrix Lestrange, she attacked a handful of muggles the other night." Lily wondered what exactly he was getting at. Sure Lily was a muggleborn witch, but she didn't have many connections to them, only her… "Your parents were caught in her path." 

A sturdy hand had come to a rest on her slender shoulder. But she blinked back the tears hard; her parents… her loving family was gone? 

Damn that Bellatrix. She should be the one dead, not them. It was her fault; if she hadn't fought with the witch, hadn't found out she were a witch, they would still be alive and well, back at home. And she would be with them. But then… what about James?

Why did her thoughts keep drifting back to James? Her parents were dead, because of her, and all she could think of was James.

He wrapped his arms around her now, cradling her head against his chest. She didn't deserve him, just like her parents didn't deserve to die. None of them deserved what they'd gotten lately. A few tears twinkled in her eyes and James reached up to brush them away before she nuzzled deeper into his chest.

"They should still be here, James." Her voice was so weak; her mind still couldn't wrap itself around her newest loss. This was by far the worst news she ever could have gotten. "It wasn't their time. It should have been me…"

James ran his hand through her hair, smoothing it before pulling away from her, placing both of his hands on her shoulders. There was an intensity in his eyes, one that had been there for a very long time. But he wouldn't yell, but he'd tell her that she was wrong, that she deserved her life just as much as she did. He'd tell her that there was nothing she could do, that it was too late. But he would be wrong; they had always been there for her. And the one time she needed her, the one time they couldn't take care of themselves… she had let them down. It was her fault that her parents were gone and she'd never see them again. The tears rolled down her cheeks, she knew he was wrong, he didn't need to say everything he was thinking, she could see it in his eyes, in his face.

"It… it's all my fault."

Their death was her fault; Bellatrix Lestrange would pay for this. But that still wouldn't bring them back. They were gone… really gone.

**A/N:** I haven't written Lily in a long while, so she may be a bit rusty. I'd love some feedback, so please R&R. The next chapter should be up faster, sorry about the wait. =]


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